If only in my dreams
by ALovedOne
Summary: "Worst trip ever," he muttered under his breath. The woman seated opposite him in the waiting area shoots him a sympathetic look. He hasn't intended for anyone to hear his complaint, but his growing frustration is threatening to boil over. Stuck at an airport. Stranded for God knows how long. A Castle Christmas story.


"Worst trip ever," he muttered under his breath.

The woman seated opposite him in the waiting area shoots him a sympathetic look. He hasn't intended for anyone to hear his complaint, but his growing frustration is threatening to boil over. She probably understands; after all, she is in the same situation as him.

Stuck at an airport. Stranded for God knows how long.

Castle leans back with a sigh, bringing the Starbucks drink he bought a few minutes ago to his lips. He figured that one of his favorite beverages might at least cheer him up a little. But after he takes a sip, his eyes rest on the festive red and white cup, and whatever brief moment of pleasure he got from the coffee vanishes and is replaced by some more bitterness.

This isn't how it was supposed to go.

* * *

His book tour through Europe lasted three weeks – three weeks during which he traveled to as many places as possible, signed as many books as he could, and stayed in more hotels than he cared to count. Rick didn't want to leave in December; he was worried the apartment wouldn't be sufficiently decorated, that he couldn't get his Christmas shopping done in time, and mostly – definitely a priority – he didn't want to leave his family with the two newest additions behind.

Kate pointed that he would still be there for Thanksgiving, and that he would be back in time for Christmas. Alexis assured him plenty of times that she would transform their place into an inside-winter wonderland - she'd had yearsof practice, after all. And Martha rolled her eyes and reminded him that she knew that he'd started getting gifts a month ago. And after several days of persuasion, and all of them promising that they would make sure everyone got into the festive spirit, he reluctantly agreed to the book tour.

The places he visited were great, but Castle couldn't help but feel slightly lonely as he strolled through the cities, all illuminated with Christmas lights, the sound of Christmas music echoing through the streets – all the decorations were taunting him, and he even caught himself wrinkling his nose one time as he saw a couple pass. That could have been him and Kate, he thought. Instead, his only company was his agent, and he did his best to keep his distance most of the time.

It snowed in some places, it was rainy and grey in others, too warm for December in the rest. He realized he got grumpier every day, but his mood didn't improve until - finally - the day of his flight home was almost there.

Home. He'd get to see his wife, and his daughter, and his other daughter, his mother, and the twins… It was going to be their first Christmas, and he had gotten them elf onesies before he left. They were going to look even more adorable.

He was flying home from London, the last stop of the tour. It was December 23. Tonight, he would see his family. Just some more hours.

When his alarm went off, his eyes flew open. Rick felt giddy, almost like a kid on Christmas morning. But the moment he sat up, he already had a weird feeling in his gut.

It wasn't early. His flight was leaving around noon, so he didn't wake up too early. It should have been light by now. But instead, there is barely any in his room, despite the fact that he didn't close the curtains last night. Rick slowly turned his head toward the window. It was then that he saw.

It wasn't his curtain that kept the light out, it was the neverending curtain of snow that fell outside. Thick, countless white flakes descending rapidly from the sky, falling onto the ground – and sticking to it. The streets were already covered in a fairly thick layer of snow. Cars moved slowly, and the people he saw on sidewalks were treading cautiously, trying to avoid slipping.

His stomach sunk. He was an optimist, but he also knew what his chances were of flights leaving in conditions like this.

Trying to suppress the feeling, Castle got ready and threw the last items into his suitcase. He would ignore the rising panic until his worries were confirmed.

This was England, after all. Who knew what the weather would be like in an hour. Maybe it would stop snowing, the sun would come out, it would warm up a few degrees… He checked out of the hotel and walked outside to catch a taxi, forcing himself to believe that it would all be okay.

The snow would stop soon and they would clear the runway. It hasn't snowed for long, there wasn't even that much- Castle slipped and landed on his butt.

He cursed quietly as he got up and dusted the snow off his coat. The taxi driver helped him load his luggage into the car, and they started their slow journey to the airport.

It took longer than it should have. The driver was going extremely slow, trying to avoid an accident like the ones they passed on their way to the airport. It made Rick glad he left early, although he didn't know if it would be of any use now.

With a silent prayer, he entered the hall. It was insanely busy, and he had issues wading through the sea of people going in every direction and bumping into him every few seconds. He finally reached a spot where he could see the board with all the departures. And his heart sunk further.

According to the board, his flight was going to be on time. Theoretically, that should have made him feel better... but it didn't. He skimmed other announcements, and he could see that a good number - most, actually - of flights had already been delayed by a few hours. It was likely his was going to be next.

Going through security took a long time, just as he expected. So many people traveling home for the holidays, just like him. He hoped they'd make it. He hoped he'd make it.

Once he reached his gate, there was really not much he could do. He had an hour until boarding was supposed to start. His eyes kept darting to the windows, noticing that the snowfall had increased.

Castle forced himself to get his laptop out and write for a bit. Thirty minutes passed. He had tuned out all announcements of delayed flights, hadn't heard his flight to New York being mentioned.

And although the rational part of him knew that if not a single plane was leaving the airport right now neither would his, the optimist inside him thought that maybe, just maybe, his plane had special equipment that would allow it to safely fly off.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are sorry to announce that the flight from London to New York has been delayed by two hours due to weather conditions," an all too cheery voice announced. "We are sorry for the inconvenience." Great.

He looked around at all the passengers that were walking around, waiting on their flight to be called. He wondered for how long they would have to be patient.

Two hours passed. His flight and pretty much all others were pushed back another two hours, maybe more if that snow wouldn't stop soon. Castle usually loved snow; loved the way it seemed to quiet down even the busiest cities, loved the way it fell and made everything seem so peaceful. Now, he despised it with every fiber of his heart.

Rick had given up on writing; he texted back and forth with Kate who tried to cheer him up and make his wait more fun – with little success. When he didn't look at his phone, he observed the people around him, their disgruntled expressions surely matching his.

* * *

He hasn't moved much since he got here, only once to get a drink for the Starbucks that was thankfully right next to his gate. The Christmas music and decorations only drive him deeper into his sullen mood. They seem to taunt him and serve as a reminder of what he might be missing if he doesn't get on a plane soon..

And then the dreaded announcement is made. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are sorry to announce that all flights have been canceled until further notice. It looks like the snow storm isn't stopping anytime soon, and the runways cannot be cleared. For more information and replacement flights, please go to your airline's desk. We apologize for the inconvenience."

Castle clenches his jaw. Great. Fantastic. He would miss Christmas. His boys' first Christmas, and he wouldn't make it.

Grudgingly, he gets up and attempts to move to his airline's service desk. It's hard with all people seemingly walking into a different direction than him. And although no one appears to want to go to the same desk as he does, there's magically a long line once he finds it.

He dials Kate's number, longing to hear her voice. It's already beginning to darken outside, and until he will reach the front of the line, at least two hours will have passed.

"Hey." Her voice immediately has a calming effect on him, and yet it can't soothe him entirely. It only reminds him of the fact the he won't be able to see her in person tonight like he hoped.

"Hey," he sighs. "Bad news, my flight was canceled."

He can hear her groan. "Oh god, I'm sorry, Rick. I'm sure things at the airport are crazy right now."

"You could say so." He is quiet for a moment. "I'm pretty sure I won't make it home in time for Christmas." He can hear her breathe, but she doesn't say anything. "Kate?"

"Still here," she finally replies. "Are you sure? I mean, maybe you can get a flight sometime tomorrow. You might miss Christmas Eve, but maybe you can be here Christmas Day?"

He shakes his head, momentarily forgetting that she can't see. "I just checked the weather forecast. The snow storm is apparently hanging around for a few days. I don't think anyone's leaving London for a little while."

"Babe, I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you planned…"

"You shouldn't apologize," he grunts. "I'm the one who's sorry. The only reason I ever agreed to go to Europe was because I was supposed to be back in time. And now I'm stuck here. I shouldn't have…"

"Rick, stop. You couldn't have known. And you had to do the book tour at some point in December, because we're going on our skiing trip in January. This was the only time you could do it," she says.

"Maybe I should have just postponed the tour," he argues. "Surely, waiting an extra two months would have been possible."

"You know your publishers nor your agent would have been happy about that."

"I've dealt with them before. I could have found an alternative," he murmurs. He knows he's sulking and tries to calm down, drawing a shaky breath. "This was one Christmas I didn't want to miss."

Kate chuckles. "You never want to miss Christmas," she tries to tease, but it fails to make him smile.

"It's their first Christmas. It was supposed to be special. We were all supposed to be together."

"I know," Kate replies quietly. "I know how much this means to you. I want you to be back too, I miss you so much. But we'll just celebrate it a day or so late."

"It's not the same and you know it," he whines. She doesn't know what to say to that.

Eventually, they move on to other topics. He tells her about his last day in London, she keeps him entertained with stories from the precinct, the twins, and Lily. At some point, she has to hang up to take care of their kids.

The line moves slowly, but finally, he makes it to the front.

* * *

On December 24, Kate gets woken up by her alarm, not by the boys' crying for once. But she knows that they won't sleep much longer, and so she gets up, not bothering to change out of her pajamas. She took the four days off, wanting to spend the holidays without annoying phone calls and murder interrupting and tainting their family moments every two minutes.

They had nothing but the family dinner planned for today, but tomorrow is the big day, and there is still a lot to be done.

Jenny, Kevin, and their two children are staying in the city this year and have accepted Castle's invitation. Javier agreed to come as well, as did Lanie, and her dad. In short, the people closest to her would all be there. Except for Rick.

She'd put on a happy face for him, pretended that – although she would miss him – their Christmas plans could just be executed on another day. Truth is, she is just as upset as he is. Once she was together with Rick, Christmas began to feel special again. As the years passed, she'd even adopted some of his enthusiasm, if only a fraction of it.

Four months ago, their family got bigger again, and Kate smiled when Castle giddily discussed how he would make the twins' first Christmas the best a child could witness. It just isn't the same without him. Her family isn't complete, and without his contagious excitement, she finds it hard to feel festive.

Nevertheless, she is determined to make this holiday special. She promised him that their children would have an amazing Christmas, she surely won't break that promise.

She methodically completes her tasks, successfully ignoring his absence for most of the day. Kate receives a few texts and a call from him, informing her that he is staying in London until Christmas Day – the snow is supposed to stop the night before. He apologizes multiple times, and she continues assuring him it's okay, blinking away the moisture beginning to gather in her eyes.

Then she puts her phone away and keeps on cleaning the apartment, baking, preparing tomorrow's big meal and tonight's dinner. Alexis comes home at some point and helps wherever she can.

Dinner with Martha, Alexis, her dad, and their kids is lovely, but her eyes keep drifting to his empty chair.

The day drains her. Yet, as she finally crawls into bed that night, she cannot sleep. She keeps tossing and turning, until – hours later – she finally falls into a restless slumber.

The tune of "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" wakes her. She turns over, confused. The sound is coming from his bedside table. It's then that she remembers that he had found a Christmas alarm clock online. One that would go off at whatever time you wanted it to – but only on Christmas Day. When Rick bought it, she remarked that it was the most useless alarm ever. It worked like any other alarm clock, but not for most of the year – so why waste money?

He waved her off and justified his purchase by pointing out how cute it looked, shaped like a reindeer, clearly cooler than a regular clock. Kate had only rolled her eyes, but gave up her protest.

She groans as she scoots over to his side and turns it off. She falls back onto the mattress. Christmas Day. She has a few hours until their guests arrive, but some of the food still need to go into the oven, and she needs to get Lily and the boys ready.

Today will be nice, she tells herself over and over again. Maybe she'll believe it if she repeats it enough. Her friends will be there. Her dad will be there. They will eat themselves into food comas, and then she will only have to wait a few more hours until his plane lands. He should already be on his way to the airport. She checks her phone and notices he texted her a few minutes ago.

 _On my way to catch a plane. Can't wait to see you. Give everyone a hug from me. Love you._

Just some more hours. She can do this. And with that thought, she finally gets up and faces the day.

* * *

She dressed Lily, Reece, and Jake for the day. Alexis and Martha are currently playing with them in the living room as she shoves some pie in the oven. They have put on Christmas music, and Rick would have been proud of the wonderland they transformed the apartment into. Kate knows he is going to admire it upon his return.

Suddenly, her thoughts are interrupted by a noise at the door. Guests aren't arriving for another two hours, and everyone else is already in the apartment.

Kate knows it's probably irrational, but her mind immediately flashes back to that spring not too long ago when Caleb broke into their home and nearly killed them both.

She breathes through the rising panic and cautiously approaches the door. Just as she gets close to it, it swings open.

She jumps back at first, almost going into a fighting stance... until she realizes who it is.

"Rick!" she calls out in disbelief. He drops all of his stuff on the ground and looks at her with a smirk. "You're here!"

And with that, she crosses the last bit of distance between them and hugs him tightly. He lifts her up gently.

"I made it," he whispers, and even he seems a bit surprised.

They stand there for a while, she isn't sure how long, until he finally puts her down to greet the rest of his family. He drops to his knees on the carpet the twins are lying on and places a kiss on both of their foreheads. Then he gently takes Lily from Martha's lap and hugs her tightly.

"Mewwy Chwismas," Lily squeaks.

He smiles. "Merry Christmas."

He kisses his mother's cheek as he returns Lily to her lap. Then he pulls Alexis into a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Pumpkin."

"Well, darling, I'm sure you're bursting to tell your tale of how you beat the odds and made it home for Christmas," Martha prompts with a smile.

Rick chuckles and slowly pulls away from the hug but keeps one arm around Alexis. "I'm glad you asked, mother."

His stuff is still scattered in the entrance, and they will have to move if before anyone arrives. But for now, they all sit on the couch, Rick pulling Kate to him the moment they're both seated.

"So?" Alexis starts. "What happened?"

"I really was stranded in London. The next flight I could get was today. And I really couldn't wait that long. While I was in line, I did a bit of searching. Turns out that some trains were still running; I don't know how. And so I took the train to Paris and…."

"You _what_?" Kate interrupts.

"I took a train to Paris," Rick repeats. "I got there really late though, but I managed to find a flight that went to New York the next evening – allowing me to make it home in time for Christmas. I touched down two hours ago, but everything was so busy. And," he turns to Kate. "I'm sorry, I meant to get one last present before I got here, but because I didn't land yesterday and the store is closed today, I couldn't. But I promise I will get it as soon as-"

She shuts him up with a kiss. "The best present is having you here today. Merry Christmas."

Now that he's present, she's sure Jake's and Reece's first Christmas is guaranteed to be magical.

And so is hers.


End file.
